Achieve Emotional Stability: 4 Habits to Avoid for Peace
Written on
Chapter 1: The Importance of Emotional Stability
Imagine this scenario: after a long, exhausting day, you finally settle down for some much-needed rest. Yet, moments after lying down, anxious thoughts about your fears begin to invade your mind.
The harder you try to dismiss them, the more overwhelming they become. You start to reflect on your career trajectory and dwell on an embarrassing encounter from earlier. "What am I doing?" you wonder, as a sliver of self-awareness nudges you to focus on the future instead of the past.
As worries about an upcoming presentation arise, you find yourself fretting over the fact that you're anxious, leading you deeper into a cycle of worry and anxiety. Many people can relate to this experience. Ordinary thoughts can spiral into a restless night, resulting in a challenging morning and an unproductive day at work. This is why cultivating emotional stability is one of the most beneficial pursuits you can undertake.
Here are four habits that emotionally stable individuals steer clear of:
Section 1.1: They Don’t Accept All Thoughts as Truth
Consider this: "Don’t think of a purple cow." The first image that likely came to mind was, indeed, a purple cow. However, just because you thought it doesn’t mean it exists.
Many people fail to realize that the mind reacts instinctively to stimuli. Sometimes, we become anxious over trivial matters, not due to genuine fear but because our brains have become conditioned to respond that way. For example, I often feel anxious when asked to present, even in front of familiar colleagues. But this anxiety does not stem from a fear of public speaking or my colleagues; it arises from my brain's learned response to such situations. Understanding this helps me manage my anxiety, allowing it to dissipate shortly after I begin speaking.
Just because a thought arises doesn't mean it holds truth. Those unaware of this distinction often allow their thoughts to dictate their anxiety and insecurity. As Sadhguru notes in his book, "Inner Engineering," many individuals live in a psychological space disconnected from reality, leading to insecurity that could collapse at any moment. While some thoughts can be beneficial, emotional intelligence requires you to discern between useful thoughts and those that lack grounding in reality.
Video Description: This video discusses the four things emotionally intelligent people avoid to enhance their emotional well-being.
Section 1.2: They Don’t Criticize Themselves for Their Emotions
We often critique our feelings because we feel pressured to maintain a certain emotional state. This fixation on happiness drives many to shame themselves for experiencing negative emotions.
Such an obsession can paradoxically worsen our emotional state. As Mark Manson explains in "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," the pursuit of positive experiences can lead to negative feelings, whereas accepting our negative experiences can be liberating.
Consider a recent breakup: your heart aches, and yet, you may find yourself questioning why you feel this way, reinforcing self-judgment. This judgment prevents us from extending the same compassion to ourselves that we would offer a friend in a similar situation.
When we fear failure, we often label ourselves as weak. Acknowledging our feelings and observing them without judgment fosters emotional stability. It means being curious about your emotions rather than reprimanding yourself for feeling them.
Chapter 2: Letting Go of Control
Section 2.1: They Don’t Attempt to Control Everything
“If you resist change, you resist life,” states Sadhguru. Individuals who are most anxious often attempt to control others' perceptions of them. This need for control arises from deep-seated insecurity and fear of change.
For instance, someone may stay in a toxic relationship simply because they find comfort in familiarity. Trying to control everything leads to perpetual anxiety since life is inherently unpredictable. The only aspect you can manage is your own response, aiming to steer changes in a constructive direction.
Section 2.2: They Aren’t Reactively Driven
Have you noticed individuals who react strongly to various stimuli? They often respond impulsively, driven by intense emotions in the moment. If you find yourself in this category, emotional instability may frequently accompany you.
High reactivity can lead to unhealthy habits, such as addiction to social media or substances. While everyone experiences urges, it’s crucial to differentiate between instinctive reactions and deliberate responses. Emotionally stable individuals have learned to choose rational responses over impulsive ones.
As Viktor Frankl aptly stated, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response.” Many people endure difficult lives due to a strained relationship with their thoughts. As Marcus Aurelius wisely noted, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
We may not always control our thoughts and emotions, but we can improve our relationship with them. By applying these four principles, you can cultivate greater stability and inner peace.
Video Description: Amy Morin discusses the thirteen habits mentally strong individuals avoid, offering insights into building resilience and strength.