Why I Decided to Diversify My "Purpose Eggs" Instead of One Basket
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Chapter 1: Understanding Purpose in Our Lives
When we discuss the concept of purpose, it frequently relates back to our jobs. This focus is understandable, as modern society encourages us to obsess over consumption and productivity. Teachers work tirelessly to prepare students for a "respectable" job, perpetuating the belief that purpose is found in our careers.
I, too, fell into this mindset, believing that purpose could be unearthed through hard work. I was chasing a metaphorical pot of gold, convinced that purpose was an external entity I needed to find. Although I'm beginning to break free from this conditioning, it still lingers. For instance, I often find myself making snap judgments about people based on their job titles or industries.
That old classmate who now works for a pharmaceutical giant? I dismiss their career as lacking significance while holding in high regard a friend who runs a non-profit.
I've been using a skewed definition of "purpose" to make covert comparisons, which isn't fair to myself or others. This mindset led me to judge my own worth based on these distorted views.
Hanging Up My Stethoscope
At 15, I decided to pursue medicine, believing that a medical degree would come with a built-in sense of purpose. However, as I entered the field, I felt increasingly disconnected from my true self. Despite the camaraderie and the rewarding aspects of patient care, I often felt lost.
At the time, I thought medicine was inherently meaningful. I understood how corporate jobs could feel empty, but medicine? I blamed myself for my feelings of purposelessness, thinking there was something wrong with me.
Now, I realize that purpose doesn't work in such a linear fashion. It's not something to be extracted from a job title. Even the most mundane jobs can hold deep meaning for someone, and the opposite holds true as well.
I eventually stepped away from medicine, yet I carried those flawed notions of purpose with me. I discovered new passions for writing, coaching, and spirituality, but I often felt they were meaningless unless I could monetize them. I continued to objectify purpose, which soured my initial enthusiasm.
Reassessing the Meaning of Work
A pivotal shift in my perspective occurred when I encountered research by Amy Wrzesniewski, who identified three orientations towards work:
- Job Orientation: Viewing work merely as a means to earn a living.
- Career Orientation: Seeing work as a ladder to climb for prestige and social standing.
- Calling Orientation: A desire to serve others authentically, allowing one's purpose to flourish.
Research indicates that people are generally spread across these orientations. Which one resonates with you currently? Recognizing that these orientations are merely tools allows us to explore different perspectives on work.
This insight challenged my rigid thinking. I had been stuck in the calling orientation, which heightened my disillusionment. Accepting that no orientation is inherently superior led to a healthier mindset.
Consider the following scenarios:
- Person A is burdened with debt and needs a job for survival.
- Person B is fresh out of school, eager to climb the career ladder.
- Person C is experiencing burnout and needs to rediscover purpose.
Each orientation serves its purpose at different times, and there's no need to feel pressured to seek more from your career unless you genuinely desire it.
An Overloaded "Calling" Basket
While the calling orientation itself isn't problematic, issues arise when we cling to the notion that our pursuits must always seem significant. This can lead to a dangerous tendency to categorize people as either "purpose-driven" or "purposeless," which hinders compassion.
I was fortunate to take a sabbatical in Southeast Asia, where I reflected on my relationship with work. I recognized the danger of seeking purpose exclusively through one avenue. This phenomenon can be described as placing all my "purpose eggs" in one basket.
Just as one wouldn't gamble all their savings on a single stock, relying solely on work to provide purpose can lead to vulnerability. If our sense of purpose is tied to our job and we face job loss or retirement, the consequences can be dire.
Many people place enormous expectations on their jobs to fulfill various needs, including:
- Purpose and Meaning
- Self-Worth and Esteem
- Competence and Accomplishment
- Community and Belonging
We can apply this reasoning to any area of life. For instance, if a parent's sole purpose is to nurture their children, what happens when those children grow up? Many struggle to adapt, clinging to an outdated identity.
I've observed similar patterns among life coaches and therapists who may rely on a client's suffering for validation of their purpose, inadvertently stunting progress and creating dependency.
Putting all our purpose eggs in one basket is a significant misallocation of energy that can lead to burnout or crises. I decided I didn't want that future for myself.
The Multifaceted Nature of Purpose
"Life itself is your career, and your interaction with life is your most meaningful relationship." ~ Michael Singer
After discussing what purpose isn't, let's explore what it truly is. Purpose isn't a finite resource we can divide; rather, it's an internal energy linked to our presence and authenticity.
Purpose manifests in our daily interactions, such as sharing a genuine smile with a cashier. Each person experiences purpose subjectively, making it a personal journey.
This year, I aim to channel my purpose across various aspects of my life:
- Advocating for my beliefs, like launching a vegan blog with my wife 🙂
- Being a compassionate presence
- Prioritizing personal health
- Nurturing friendships
- Committing to intentional rest
- Making time for fun!
What about you? Which areas of your life require attention, and which might you need to release to make space for new opportunities?
In conclusion, remember that we're only ever engaged in one action at a time. When our tasks become mere means to an end, we detach from the deeper purpose that resides within us. All we need to do is pay attention.
Mother Teresa put it best: "We can do no great things — only small things with great love."
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