Chapter 1: Rethinking Aging

My early fascination with aging was often met with skepticism and even mockery. However, my peers are gradually beginning to understand the importance of this topic.

Building Connections with Inspiring Older Women

I began forming meaningful relationships with remarkable older women when I was just 46 years old. My first mentor was Henrietta, who was 75 at the time. Little did I know that I would come to cherish a circle of such women.

At first, the idea of identifying as an "old lady" was daunting. What would that mean for my future? The reality of aging is unavoidable—short of death, which has already claimed some friends. I’m determined to live fully and vibrantly, with energy and new ideas still flowing.

While I can't halt the passage of time, I can prioritize my well-being through healthy eating, regular exercise, and active engagement with the world around me. I strive to maintain my curiosity and reflect inwardly. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of my wise, inner old lady in the mirror, reminding me, “You must embrace aging, as it’s happening with or without your consent!”

Even though I can’t—and don’t wish to—stop time, I find wisdom and inspiration in my older friends.

Initially, my peers were resistant to discussions about aging. One sorority sister questioned, “Why are you always discussing getting older?” This was nearly a decade ago, and I still keep in touch with many of my former classmates from Syracuse University in the mid-60s.

I tried to explain, “Seventy is not young in any context!” Aging doesn’t equate to retirement; yes, turning 70 brings change, but it isn’t inherently negative.

Some of my sorority sisters echoed her sentiments: “You shouldn’t refer to them as old ladies. People won’t want to read about that.” Yet, my older friends weren’t offended by the label—except for Joan Kron, who was 90 when we reconnected. She was a top journalist, best-selling author, and even produced her first film at 88.

Joan's Perspective on Aging

A few years later, during an interview about her next documentary at the age of 92, Joan shared her thoughts on the term “old.” She confessed, “I’m a bit ageist because I prefer not to be around older individuals. I find that many of them dwell too much on their ailments. I choose to focus on what I can do.”

Curious if her views had shifted, I reached out to Joan before finalizing this piece. “You can call me whatever you wish,” she replied. “I’d prefer ‘old broad.’”

While many of my friends agree with her that it’s better to focus on positivity rather than complaints, Joan stands out. In contrast, Marge, who was in her early 100s when I asked her about the term “old lady,” laughed and declared, “I have no problem with that title. I am an old lady.”

After spending considerable time with my older friends, our conversations began to feel like a book, and I decided to pitch the idea to an agent. I remained true to the original title. These women, now in their 90s and 100s, are undeniably old, but they are also ladies and my friends.

To my relief, the agent appreciated my approach. My aim was to normalize the term "old" and to showcase the remarkable, creative, and brave ways my older friends navigate their lives, inspiring me to embrace my own journey.

Chapter 2: Changing Perspectives

Shifting Attitudes Among Peers

My former sorority sisters are now hearing my stories with fresh ears. Their perspectives have evolved as they approach their own 80s. One commented, “As we near becoming ‘old ladies,’ it’s uplifting to be inspired.”

Another remarked, “It’s a lovely reminder of where we stand in life.” While they may not yet refer to themselves as “old ladies,” the acknowledgment of aging is dawning on them.

Maureen’s reaction was particularly encouraging. With her permission, she expressed, “Your dedication to the topic of older women is resonating with me, even though I’ve resisted it. But there’s truth in Joan Rivers’ words: ‘Old age is not for sissies.’”

Despite grappling with her own internalized ageism—a common issue in our youth-centric culture—Maureen embraces her age and exemplifies how 80 can be fabulous.

The “old Sylvia” refers to my friend Daryl’s mother, who became one of my old ladies a few years back. Sylvia was vibrant and engaged, splitting her time between Manhattan and Miami, and she remained socially active until her passing while planning her 98th birthday party.

Embracing the Journey of Aging

Maureen beautifully described the project as “women aging gracefully with love and laughter.” I couldn’t agree more! We’ve all made significant strides in our understanding of aging.

Melinda Blau is an award-winning journalist currently working on her 16th book, which explores the power and potential of relationships with older women. Connect with her on social media via LinkTree.

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