Don't Let Self-Doubt Control You

As he waited, the line came to a halt, and he was drawn in by a tabloid headline: "HEIDI KLUM BEATS THE HEAT BY GOING TOPLESS IN A STRING BIKINI." In his distraction, he lost his spot as the “early adaptors” moved to other lines, leaving him with only longer options. Faced with a decision—stay in line or switch to another—he found himself questioning the choice. Would switching mean giving in?

He imagined himself as James Bond, ramming his Aston Martin through the smug faces of those around him and speeding off to a glamorous event filled with dry martinis.

The mocking frozen pizza and discounted bananas in his nearly empty cart only added to his frustration. He calculated how long he'd have to wait: if everyone took about four minutes and there were eight people ahead of him... though some carts were overflowing, likely enough to feed an entire Boy Scout troop.

In front of him stood a woman in an oversized shirt and revealing shorts, her cart resembling a chaotic trash heap. A candy bar slipped off her cart unnoticed, and he grumbled to himself about once again picking the wrong line.

No. He wasn’t a loser; he was merely a shopper in line. He grabbed the magazine again, relishing the word "perused," which he had recently learned from Aunt Joan's Reader’s Digest. He enjoyed enhancing his vocabulary, even in his thoughts.

Gain Control by Confronting Your Fears

The Express Checkout began to move, but he had one item too many. The bodybuilders gracing the cover of Men’s Health wouldn’t let a few extra items deter them from their goals. But if he tried to sneak in an extra item, the cashier would likely laugh at him and send him packing. His history with this grocery store was complicated, and the wait was driving him insane.

As he glanced up the line, he noticed who was manning the register—his old nemesis, Krystal. No wonder his line was crawling. She scanned items with a vacant expression, twirling a lock of her blonde hair while daydreaming about ways to annoy the stock boys with her sharp tongue.

Definitely not winning any employee awards.

He watched her, barely acknowledging the customers who greeted her. Her pale skin, marked with freckles, gave her an illusion of youthfulness that was deceiving. Despite her appearance, he knew better.

Krystal often mocked him, claiming DD stood for “Deep Drivel,” laughing at his ambitions. After a grueling stint as a low-paid stock boy, he had finally escaped that life. If only he could buy that Aston Martin and drive to a more pleasant grocery store.

Counter Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

But he had to stay optimistic. Now that he was a customer, Krystal owed him some respect.

Only two people left in front of him. One. The woman with the overflowing cart placed her last item on the conveyor belt, lifting DD’s spirits. He was no longer a stock boy; he had made it to the other side.

Confidently (fake it till you make it), he placed the frozen pizza on the conveyor, noting its dampness.

“Hey Krystal, can you clean this off for me?”

Without glancing at him, she slid a sign that read “Next Cash Please” in front of his bananas.

“It’s my turn.”

“Have a nice day.”

“Wait!”

“I’m on break.”

“Krystal!”

She turned back, a smirk on her face. It was clear she had done it intentionally, one last jab because she envied his vision.

Identify Your Confidence Weaknesses

A simple girl like her would never comprehend his dreams. One day, he would be famous, and she would pretend to be his friend, saying, “I knew him when.”

This wasn’t the time to be staring at his bananas.

The line behind him dispersed faster than he could gather his thoughts. He decided to abandon the shopping cart and head back to his basement apartment. It was the weekend, and Aunt Joan would likely be preparing something nice for her boyfriend. If he gave her his best puppy dog eyes, she wouldn’t be able to resist helping him, just as she had when his parents had kicked him out “for his own good.”

I hope you enjoyed this first segment of "Diary of a Serial Killer." For more stories and a free ebook, visit maajawentz.com.