How to Maintain Healthy Self-Esteem After Experiencing Setbacks
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Chapter 1 Understanding Self-Esteem and Its Influences
Experiencing setbacks and disappointments can be challenging. The first step in overcoming these feelings is to stop the cycle of self-criticism and to practice gratitude for the lessons learned. Shifting your mindset can pave the way to personal growth.
It’s important to note that clichés like "Those who don't make mistakes aren't trying" or "Everyone faces failures" can often feel unhelpful. However, I believe that each conscious mistake or failure can lead us closer to our goals.
Section 1.1 The Concept of Background Self-Esteem
Our perception of success or failure is heavily influenced by what is known as "background self-esteem." This self-assessment is largely shaped during childhood and reinforced by the messages we receive from our parents and loved ones.
Furthermore, our current achievements and setbacks also affect this background self-esteem. In simple terms, having more successes tends to elevate our self-esteem, while frequent failures can diminish it.
Subsection 1.1.1 The Impact of Current Events
Section 1.2 The Relationship Between Self-Esteem and Current Events
It's essential to recognize that how we evaluate ourselves now is influenced by our background self-esteem. A strong foundation in self-esteem can lead to viewing fewer events as failures, fostering a greater tendency to perceive them as successes.
Even minor adjustments in our background self-esteem can significantly enhance how we feel about our achievements.
Chapter 2 The Challenge of Altering Background Self-Esteem
The difficulty in changing background self-esteem lies in its origins, which are often shaped by external influences. Low self-esteem frequently stems from childhood experiences that are misunderstood or misinterpreted.
This often occurs when children feel powerless in important relationships and receive little support or communication. Such experiences can lead to a belief in "learned helplessness," which results in a narrative of being a "loser."
A key takeaway is that cognitive-behavioral therapy can help individuals uncover these deep-seated beliefs early in the therapeutic process, allowing them to replace them with healthier alternatives that boost self-esteem.