Chapter 1: Understanding Stress in Today’s World

Life is undeniably filled with stressors. Regardless of our achievements, challenges and obstacles seem to arise incessantly. It’s crucial for each person to discover how to take command of their mental and physical state, enabling them to achieve calmness the instant stress strikes. Instead of allowing it to immobilize us, we should learn to conquer it.

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When we experience stress, our bodies enter an overly heightened state. We become excessively alert, reactive, and restless, which is detrimental not only to ourselves but to those around us. In such moments, the world feels abrasive, akin to constant friction. The objective of swiftly alleviating our stress is to bring everything back to a manageable level.

When I attempt to calm my racing thoughts, it feels like trying to catch fog—always slipping away and spreading throughout my mind and body. To truly eliminate stress, we must recognize and understand it. What does it actually mean to be ‘stressed’?

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In ancient times, our existence was fraught with threats. I’m not referring to the anxiety of meeting deadlines; I mean real, life-threatening dangers. We faced predators, hostile tribes, and environmental hazards. The ‘fight or flight’ response was essential for survival, reacting faster than our thought processes could.

Our pupils dilate to let in more light, and our heart rate increases to ensure blood flows to muscles necessary for action. We enter a state of heightened awareness, prepared to confront danger or flee for our lives.

Today, however, most of our stressors are first-world problems. Concerns about bills, social situations, workplace issues, and societal expectations, while stressful, are not life-threatening. Yet our bodies remain unaware of this distinction. Thus, regardless of how minor our worries may seem, our bodies initiate the same physical responses as they did centuries ago.

In the past, a chase from a predator lasted a mere 15–30 minutes; once the threat was gone, our bodies would return to normal function. Nowadays, our stresses are less severe but more chronic. If my boss acts unpleasant today, he will likely do so tomorrow and the days that follow. This leads to a prolonged state of stress, resulting in long-term health complications and chronic anxiety, making me anticipate stress in every aspect of life.

Consequently, I may struggle to rise in the morning and find it difficult to rest at night, exacerbating my stress for the following day. Activities that once brought me joy may now feel burdensome. So how can we combat this cycle?

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Breathing and Heart Rate: The Key to Stress Relief

It’s astonishing how many individuals are aware of the techniques available yet fail to implement them. Controlling our breathing is the most effective method to mitigate stress in the moment. Scientific research indicates that regulated breathing can significantly lower heart rate, which is the quickest way to diminish our heightened state of agitation.

When we breathe rapidly—often our initial response to stress—our brain communicates with our heart, urging it to pump faster. It’s vital to recognize what’s occurring within our bodies. Understanding stress is the first step in countering the physical changes it brings.

Instead of inhaling quickly, we should consciously take slower breaths through our noses and exhale deeply, fully emptying our lungs. This deliberate, slower breathing sends a signal to our heart to decelerate. By doing this, we actively combat our stress and target its vulnerabilities. We resist the urge to hyperventilate; unless a lion is pursuing you, nothing warrants such a drastic bodily response.

As you exhale, remind yourself that whatever is causing your stress is manageable. There’s always a solution. After several minutes of maintaining this awareness and controlling your breathing, your body will shift out of its stressed state, allowing your mind to focus on other matters.

However, this shouldn't mark the end of our battle against stress. What follows? — Stress Journaling

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Settle down with a comforting beverage, be it coffee or something else that soothes you. While we can manage stress as it arises, taking additional steps to maintain low stress levels is essential. I’ve discovered that writing down my concerns is one of the best ways to deal with life’s challenges.

Thoughts can become chaotic in my mind. When unsure of what to write—especially after a particularly taxing day—I start by jotting down whatever comes to mind. I’ll note my stressors, daily occurrences, any positive events, and so on. Since it’s for my eyes only, the format doesn’t matter.

Afterward, I review my notes and begin organizing them. What negative experiences triggered my stress? How did I feel about these events—angry, upset, or fearful? What were the immediate consequences? Is there proof supporting my stress, or do I need to challenge my extreme feelings?

Could I have avoided these situations? If not, how can I protect myself from future negativity? Should I prepare more for upcoming challenges? Am I overreacting? What advice would I give a friend in my position?

What possible positives could arise from this situation? Even if none exist, will I survive? Can I move forward? What’s the worst that could happen? Finally, I always ask myself, “Will this matter three years from now?”

Once you begin journaling your stressors, you’ll discover they aren’t as daunting as they seem. With time, when new stressors arise, you'll know how to address them—first through regulated breathing and then by retreating to your journal for deeper reflection.