Chapter 1: The Reality of Violence

In our modern society, we often claim to reject violence. However, the reality is far more intricate than that.

This image has become ubiquitous online, featured on meme platforms and social media.

Reflecting on my own experiences, I recall a day in middle school when I walked into class with fresh stitches above my right eyebrow. The previous day, I had been unexpectedly punched by a neighbor during a basketball game. He had fallen in with the wrong crowd, influenced by local gangs, and believed a rumor that I had insulted a girl I didn’t even know. After tossing me the ball, he struck me with a powerful blow.

Stumbling back, I touched my face and laughed, bewildered. "What was that for?" I asked.

Years earlier, I had taken up martial arts to defend myself against bullying, so I could handle a hit. Yet, when I felt the warmth of blood on my hand, I fled in tears. My parents took me for stitches, and the following day, I walked the school halls with my head down, shame washing over me as the news spread.

That incident prompted me to take my training more seriously, and by high school graduation, I was competing in bare-knuckle, full-contact tournaments. Upon turning 18, I enlisted in the military, where I learned to wield firearms, knives, and explosives, turning a human being into mere remnants. In college, after losing a match to a roommate with an All-American wrestling father, I turned to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Then came my two deployments to war. I constantly grappled with the question: “When is violence justified?”

This brings us to the recent incident involving Will Smith.

For those unaware, actor Will Smith slapped comedian Chris Rock during the Oscars after Rock made a joke about Smith's wife, referencing her hair loss condition known as alopecia. Smith perceived the joke as a personal affront and took to the stage to confront Rock.

Initially, viewers speculated whether the incident was staged until the broadcast cut to commercial. The aftermath was a flood of memes and opinions online. One media outlet even compiled a list of responses to "the slap heard around the world," addressing themes like toxic masculinity, the consequences faced by elites, racism, and even geopolitical issues such as Ukraine.

I have no desire to add another shallow critique to the already crowded discourse about this incident. However, my life has been marked by encounters with violence, and whether we like to admit it or not, violence is part of the human experience. Regardless of opinions on Smith's actions (which were undeniably violent), there exists a deeper, more nuanced conversation that we are neglecting in the public discourse.

This dialogue subtly acknowledges that violence remains a viable option.

“It is one thing to study war and another to live the warrior’s life.”

— Steven Pressfield

One Saturday morning in my late twenties, I woke up under a green, brown, and white striped duvet in my apartment, sunlight streaming through the window. Lying there in tranquility, a startling realization dawned on me: I was nearing 30, and violence had been a significant part of my life. This revelation shook me profoundly, leading me to abstain from firearms, knives, and martial arts for several years. Instead, I focused on enjoying food, nature, recreation, and friendships.

Yet, regardless of where I went, the specter of violence lingered. I would witness bar fights and contemplate intervening. I saw a young man berating a woman who had rejected his advances, and a gym-goer intimidating others while stealing money. I chose to ignore them, rationalizing that these were no longer my battles.

As children, we’re taught that violence is unacceptable. Yet, children are inherently violent. Anyone who disputes this hasn't been a parent. Ask any mother or father about a time their baby hit, bit, or otherwise acted out when they didn’t get their way. My own kids have never seen me raise a hand against their mother, yet they’ve scratched or bitten me from a young age. If we’re honest, every adult harbors violent thoughts; we simply learn to control them. But under the right circumstances, like Will Smith, those violent emotions can erupt.

This situation reminds me of a line from the HBO series Westworld: “These violent delights have violent ends.” The phrase, taken from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, serves as a warning that rash passions can lead to devastating outcomes. We all know how that story ends, and the warning becomes a haunting foreshadowing.

The world we inhabit is inherently violent. Nature itself is brutal. Yet, we tend to romanticize it, failing to acknowledge the raw realities—like a lion tearing apart a zebra or an insect draining the life from a paralyzed frog. The mountain lion isn’t concerned with whether you’re hiking with children. The cliff doesn’t care if you fall and suffer injuries. Does a Ukrainian soldier think about the family of a Russian soldier as he fires his weapon? Probably not—survival is the priority.

This leads us to a contentious question in society: when is violence justified? Is it acceptable to fight against human traffickers? To defend a child from abduction? To counteract invading soldiers or to confront Nazis in concentration camps?

While pacifism holds value, will it deter a cartel member from harming your family? Or is it the undercover officer, engaged in a gunfight, who ultimately halts such violence?

In a recent piece by author Eric Weiner, he recounts the shock of a woman fleeing Ukraine, who expressed disbelief that an invasion could occur in 2022, stating, “We have Teslas and so much amazing technology.”

Weiner's article echoes sentiments I’ve heard from many who mistakenly believe that technology and enlightenment have led to greater human progress. Each generation tends to look down on its predecessors for their barbarism, all while ignoring the stark realities in front of them.

Despite its advancements, technology has also been a source of immense human suffering. Drone strikes can wipe out entire populations. We possess atomic weapons capable of annihilating the planet—something the Vikings could never achieve. A Tesla won’t save you from a car thief who might use your electric vehicle to harm innocent people while escaping law enforcement. While we may disapprove of violence, it remains an option, and it has never been easier to commit atrocities given our technological advancements.

The withdrawal from Afghanistan and the fall of Kabul starkly highlighted our brutal reality and our struggle to accept violence as a possibility. In George Packer’s article for The Atlantic, he interviews a young Afghan woman who grew up under American protection in Kabul. She believed that the city was too modern to fall to the Taliban, stating, “Kabul is a city full of younger generations, full of girls and boys who can talk, who can fight with their writing, with their speaking.”

Today, Afghanistan is facing the world's largest humanitarian crisis as it teeters on the brink of famine due to the Taliban's return. This shift represents a catastrophic violation of human rights for women. While I have faith in the power of writing, as an author myself, writing essays is futile when faced with the imminent threat of violence against your family.

Thus, it is one thing to engage in philosophical discussions online about violence while flaunting one’s moral convictions, but it is entirely different when confronted with a mugger, a bully, a soldier, the Taliban, terrorists, or domestic abusers. Everyone believes they know how they would react—myself included—but in the heat of the moment, perhaps it’s wiser to heed Shakespeare’s caution:

“These violent delights have violent ends.”

The video titled "Will Smith Thinks He's The Victim After Chris Rock Said - REACTION" delves into the aftermath of the Oscars incident, examining societal reactions and the underlying themes of violence and accountability.