Childhood Beginnings

This narrative takes root in my early years. During my time in elementary school, my enthusiastic teacher encouraged our class to participate in a school talent competition. My seven-year-old self was thrilled and decided to put on a puppet show!

However, there were some challenges; I had no prior experience in puppeteering, and the only puppet at my disposal was a simple plush glove with minimal movement. I chose the chart-topping hit "Wonderwall" by Oasis as my backdrop because, let's face it, Oasis was the epitome of cool back then.

The day of the performance arrived, and I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. As I waited for my turn, the act before mine took the stage. To my shock, a boy wearing red-lensed Lennon glasses and a trendy Stone Island jacket (all the rage in 1995) began to perform… "Wonderwall."

Having the same song played back-to-back was embarrassing enough, but the boy not only looked the part, his performance was impressively good (I admit begrudgingly). Unsurprisingly, the audience adored him.

While I won’t delve into the details of what happened next—partly to avoid reliving the trauma and partly because it was obvious what was about to unfold—I will share that I learned two significant lessons that day: puppeteering isn’t for me, and I developed a strong dislike for Alan Lewis (name changed for anonymity).

Alan was the type of kid who excelled effortlessly, and it stung even more that he thrived in areas where I had invested immense effort just to be average. This rivalry persisted throughout my school years: I placed second to him in the poetry competition, watched him share a kiss with my crush Bethany Jenkins (name also changed), and saw him outperform me in music, the subject I cherished most.

As I reached adulthood, my views shifted. I came to see poetry as unremarkable, Bethany as a wannabe pop star, and musicians as unreliable. I also recognized that jealousy was unattractive, prompting me to mask my disdain with humor. Alan became a source of amusing anecdotes at social gatherings, though he still irked me internally. By this point, he had formed a band gaining popularity in our hometown, becoming quite the local celebrity.

Around this period, I began attending therapy. While I won’t share every enlightening moment or tear shed during that time (those are stories for another day), I will highlight one crucial insight I gained: I had developed a fear of failure. When things went awry, I learned to shy away from trying again, as failure was painful. However, this avoidance led to stagnation and fostered unkind feelings toward myself and others.

Through my therapy sessions, I discovered that the fear of failure often originates from childhood experiences. Children absorb the messages they receive, shaping their adult interactions. If a child is mocked, criticized, or punished for not succeeding, they learn to hide their failures rather than strive for improvement.

Through introspection, I came to realize that Alan wasn’t a bad person; he was simply human, with his own flaws. What I perceived as his "failure" was merely his opportunity to learn and grow. When faced with challenges, Alan adapted and continued to make progress.

Eventually, I recognized that to evolve as an individual, I needed to reshape my relationship with failure. A mantra that profoundly impacted me was: “LIFE IS A LESSON OR A BLESSING.” With this fresh perspective, I embraced the unknown, celebrating successes or accepting setbacks with kindness towards myself, and then daring to explore again, armed with newfound knowledge.

Earlier this year, I attended a friend’s wedding, and guess who was the lead guitarist in the band? My old rival, Alan. I bought him a drink, and we caught up briefly before he took the stage again. As I danced with my wife to nostalgic hits, I thought, “All things considered, he’s actually quite a likable guy.”

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A Thought to Ponder

Do you conform to fit into the world, or do you strive to reshape the world around you?

For my loyal readers (you all are amazing!), you may recognize a condensed version of this story from my article titled "About…"

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