The Early Days

From an early age, I noticed Diggory struggled in various aspects of life—school, relationships, and family dynamics. Despite his intelligence and artistic flair, he never fully embraced his potential. My mother attributes his troubles to their divorce, a burden of guilt she has carried for decades. It’s vital to recognize the silent battles mothers face, often masked by their smiles.

Diggory and my older sister are my half-siblings, a fact I grasped only as a child, yet it never diminished our affection for one another. Our parents maintained a friendly relationship, striving to create a supportive environment. Despite their best efforts, Diggory's struggles transformed his sadness into rebellion and his angst into rage.

This early betrayal led me to keep people at arm's length, a lesson Diggory unwittingly taught me. Our relationship was akin to a game of Battleship, where his charm often masked his manipulative tendencies. He had a way of using my loyalty against me, leaving me feeling utterly defeated.

The Addiction

Eventually, we became aware of Diggory's substance abuse. He faced expulsion from a prestigious school, and we witnessed late-night episodes where he stumbled home, much to our parents' dismay. While typical teenage behavior can be reckless, it became evident that Diggory was spiraling into self-destruction.

His absence during various stretches of my adolescence was peaceful, though I remained blissfully unaware of how other families lived without constant fear. Unlike my friends, we had to secure our valuables with deadbolts, as Diggory had a knack for breaking in. I still remember the fear of discovering my brother in our home when I thought we were alone.

Despite the chaos, Diggory remained my favorite sibling. His hugs made me feel safe, and our shared moments were cherished. Yet, every Aerosmith song reminds me of the bittersweet moments we had, caught between nostalgia and heartache.

As his addiction escalated, he resorted to theft to fund his habits. Our family struggled to cope with his volatility, never knowing which version of him would appear.

Boom! He Sunk My Battleship

I vividly recall the moment he used my love as a weapon against me during yet another heated argument with our parents. While my siblings sought refuge in my sister’s room, I froze on the stairs, torn between confusion and anger. When Diggory turned our embrace into a shield against our father, I felt the weight of betrayal settle in.

As an adult, I recognize how my brother manipulated that moment, using me to hurt our father. The realization hit hard; we were the victims of his actions, not him. Our family had endured so much turmoil, and Diggory's selfishness pushed us to our limits.

The Quiet Years

After a tumultuous period, we saw little of Diggory for several years. My parents stood united, determined to protect us from his destructive influence. The realization that we deserved a life free from fear was liberating.

As a mother now, I reflect on the burdens my own mother carried and hope my son never faces such struggles.

Cancer & The Pawn Shop

In 2010, our family faced another crisis when my father was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Surprisingly, Diggory appeared stable during this time, taking on a caretaker role. For a brief moment, it seemed as though our family dynamic was healing.

However, that hope was short-lived. One morning, I received a frantic call about Diggory's arrest, revealing the depths of his ongoing struggles. Upon cleaning his apartment, I discovered a mountain of pawn shop receipts, evidence of his theft and deceit.

My siblings and I swiftly packed his belongings, finally severing ties with the brother we once adored. Our family had suffered enough.

Since that day, I have not seen Diggory. I grapple with the reality of his absence, knowing closure may never come. Yet, my father defied the odds, surviving against cancer and reclaiming his life.

The Lotus In Lake Diggory

Through the chaos, I found strength in my siblings. We emerged from the trials of addiction and illness united, knowing that our bond could withstand anything. Diggory may still be physically present in our lives, but he is no longer a threat to our peace.

I wish him well from afar, understanding our paths may only cross again during times of loss. This is my reality, and I choose to embrace it.

Diggory can no longer sink my battleship. I am here to protect the little girl I once was, who faced betrayal yet persevered. My love for my family runs deep, and I cherish the bonds we share.

Thank you for taking the time to read about this chapter of my life. For brevity, I omitted many details regarding Diggory's journey through various vehicles, jobs, and rehabilitation attempts. This narrative focused on my emotional journey of loving an addict.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, the SAMHSA National Helpline is available at 1–800–662–4357, offering free and confidential support.

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