Internally Sourced Confidence

Confidence that originates internally encourages individuals to establish criteria for success that are not influenced by external factors. This form of confidence manifests as pride in taking risks, sharing your work, or maintaining healthy boundaries. When your confidence is rooted internally, the outcome of your risk-taking, the reception of your work, or the responses to your boundaries become less significant. This type of confidence is deeply personal and cannot be granted or revoked by anyone else.

Externally Sourced Confidence

In contrast, externally sourced confidence hinges on the decisions and opinions of others. It leads you to question things like:

• How many clients have signed up?
• What is the readership of my article?
• Did I receive validation from others for my risk-taking?

When you find yourself pondering these questions, you are likely leaning toward externally sourced confidence, which is an unstable foundation. You cannot control others’ decisions. Even with a well-thought-out marketing strategy, you cannot dictate how many will join your program. Similarly, while you can establish boundaries, you cannot manage how others will react to them. Relying on external validation often results in feelings of defeat or leads to an unsustainable sense of self-worth.

Finding the Solution

I have made it a point to prioritize internally sourced confidence above all else. I am also aware of moments when I lean toward external validation. This awareness has prompted me to celebrate my achievements, like publishing a new article on Medium, releasing podcast episodes, or coaching my clients.

This video discusses three sources of motivation to help you achieve your goals, reinforcing the importance of intrinsic validation.

I take joy in feeling proud of my efforts, regardless of the feedback that follows. Each time I consciously celebrate my achievements, my internally sourced confidence strengthens. As for externally sourced confidence, I regard others’ choices as data without taking them personally. The number of sign-ups for my program does not define my self-worth; rather, it provides valuable insight for future marketing efforts. Similarly, the readership of my Medium articles will not dictate my confidence, but I will note which topics resonate most with my audience.

As my therapist wisely advises, “track, don’t react.”

Summary of Key Points

Ultimately, internally sourced confidence is the goal we all strive for, often without realizing it. Many of us, however, allow our self-esteem to be contingent upon others’ decisions, leading to a reliance on external validation. Transitioning to an internally sourced confidence can be distilled into two simple steps:

1. Cultivate your confidence from within. Affirm your abilities, celebrate your accomplishments, and honor the work you share before you assess any metrics.
2. View others’ choices as data. Analyze this information objectively, and keep it separate from your self-perception.

Implementing this straightforward practice could have a transformative impact on your life. Are you ready to give it a try?

D’Ana Joi is a life coach specializing in multi-passionate individuals and the host of the Multi-Passionate Mastery Podcast. She believes that possessing multiple talents is a strength, not a burden, and assists creatives in navigating the pressures of managing various interests simultaneously.

This video outlines six steps to build security and self-confidence independently, empowering viewers to take charge of their self-esteem.