What to Do When Nerves Hit Hard on a First Date
Written on
Chapter 1: Facing First Date Jitters
Picture this: I'm anxiously waiting for my first date. Arriving early, I couldn't help but succumb to the anticipation, seeking out a cozy table. We had originally planned to explore an outdoor market, but with the dreadful weather, a snug booth for tea seemed like the perfect alternative.
I mustered the courage to ask her out last week, choosing this day as our first opportunity to meet. The excitement has kept me awake at night, akin to the feeling of waiting for Christmas morning. Yet, I recognize that the idealized version of her I've envisioned differs from reality. While I'm not completely lost, the nervous energy coursing through me is palpable—my hands are shaking. It’s been ages since I’ve genuinely liked someone.
After my last tumultuous relationship, I never thought I’d experience this feeling again.
How to Soothe Those Jitters
First and foremost, breathe. As I sit here, I focus on my breath, counting each inhalation and exhalation: in, hold for four, out, hold for four. Remember, she's just another person.
Remind yourself of your worth. Sure, she’s wonderful, but so am I. I have countless unique qualities to offer. I can express myself clearly and calmly, even amidst the flutter of nerves. This isn't a blind date; I know her. It's simply a chance to get to know each other better.
Ground yourself. What do I see? The table before me, my hair clip resting on it, the water in front, the attentive server gliding by, the soft yellow lighting, and the menu displayed. What are the scents? My light perfume mingling with the delicious restaurant aromas. What sounds reach my ears? The hum of conversation, background melodies, and the gentle whir of the coffee maker. What do I feel? My heart racing and time inching closer to her arrival.
Utilize conversation starters. A list of 36 questions can be a helpful resource if you're worried about your mind going blank—something I fear might happen.
Other Guidelines for First Dates
There are no strict rules. Just communicate. Smile. Be authentic. Share the truth.
The experience can be daunting, as you find yourself in a vulnerable position, hoping that someone will appreciate you enough to spend time together, with the potential for a deeper relationship in the future. It can feel like a test of your ego.
Above all, remember: if it’s meant to happen, it will, regardless of what you say or do. Enjoy the moment. Those butterflies are a magical part of the journey.
Chapter 2: Techniques to Manage First Date Anxiety
In this video, "How to NOT be NERVOUS on a FIRST DATE!", learn practical tips to help ease your nerves and make the most of your date.
The second video, "First Date Anxiety: How to Keep Your Cool", explores strategies to maintain composure and enjoy your time together without overwhelming anxiety.