Smartwatch Shenanigans: A Humorous Take on Tech and Privacy
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Chapter 1: The Smartwatch Adventure
A few months back, I took the plunge and bought a smartwatch, spurred on by a friend's recommendation. I settled on a Redmi model from Mi, a well-regarded Chinese tech brand that's been making waves lately. Despite my limited budget, I couldn't resist the allure of modern technology.
I didn't purchase it just to tell the time; my goal was to monitor my stress levels, heart rate, blood oxygen levels, calories burned, my daily steps, and even track my caffeine and alcohol intake. Admittedly, it can't manage everything on my wish list, but it covers most of the bases.
The prices I encountered at the local electronics store were outrageous, with some models exceeding €1000! Selling a kidney seemed like the only option, so I opted for the base model from Mi, which was priced at a mere €65.
This smartwatch doesn’t directly connect to the internet or make calls; it operates through a tablet or smartphone via Bluetooth. Notifications for calls or messages come only through vibrations, and there’s no speaker to speak of.
It also uses vibrations to wake me up. With a bright OLED display, it remains visible even in direct sunlight, and its battery life is impressive—lasting about a week with regular use and over two weeks on standby. Plus, it charges fully in just half an hour.
Among its many features, here’s a glimpse of what it can do:
Chapter 2: The Data Dilemma
It tracks my daily steps, heart rate, sleep patterns, stress levels, and even has modes for swimming, walking, running, and cycling. It vibrates to remind me to take breaks when I’ve been sedentary too long—complete with a little green figure stretching, implying I need to get off the couch.
What I initially perceived as a wearable cellphone turned out to offer much more functionality. However, there's a catch: it sends all this information back to Mi’s headquarters in China. I had to agree to this data sharing before setting it up, which felt a bit sketchy.
All the insights it gathers about my habits are uploaded to Mi’s app on my tablet and then sent off to China. They claim the data is "non-personalized," but can we genuinely trust that?
If I had an Apple Watch, I would feel secure about my personal information, considering the stringent privacy measures in place. But with Mi, I can’t help but wonder if my data will end up in the hands of Chinese spies.
What if right now, as I type, they're monitoring my thoughts? The lack of an independent judiciary in China adds to my concerns. If I catch their attention, I fear that Mi could hand over everything they have on me without hesitation.
And let's not forget—this is just a smartwatch. If they decide I'm a nuisance, do they resort to extreme measures like dispatching spies with neurotoxins? Should I be preparing to hide in the mountains? Is this smartwatch my impending doom?
Speaking of tech, I snapped a third picture to showcase the hydrophobic features of my Redmi Watch 2 Lite. As a self-proclaimed geek, I plan to delve deeper into hydrophobicity in a future article.
Here’s a look at the water contact angle on the watch's surface:
The display stays dry, glossy, and scratch-free. I might have skipped over some instruction details, but I suspect it has a hydrophobic coating layered over a sapphire screen.
While it's common for high-end watches to have this feature, I was pleasantly surprised to find it in a budget-friendly smartwatch. It seems the Chinese have significantly reduced the cost of such technologies.
Nature's own version of hydrophobicity is fascinating—lotus leaves, for example, can achieve contact angles exceeding 145°, causing water droplets to glide over them effortlessly. Scientists have emulated this natural phenomenon to create advanced hydrophobic coatings, though these often lack durability.
In closing, I hope you’ve enjoyed this lighthearted review. If I suddenly vanish in the coming days, you can bet I’ll be hiding deep within a cave, avoiding the reach of Xi's operatives.
Sources: Hydrophobicity — an overview | ScienceDirect
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