Stop Overthinking Your Purpose — It’s Hurting Your Happiness
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Chapter 1: The Crisis of Purpose
In today’s society, one of the most pressing issues is the lack of a clear sense of purpose.
Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash
Is This It?
This existential question often arises, as illustrated by my fiancé, who recently earned her Ph.D. in neuroscience. After navigating various jobs that didn’t quite fit, she has finally found a lab position in Montréal that she enjoys. As we settle into our routine, her inquiry into life’s purpose becomes more prominent.
For many individuals, especially in their early adulthood, life seems to unfold in a series of defined milestones: graduating high school, entering college, achieving good grades, landing a job, and starting a family. However, after reaching these goals, many are left wondering, “What comes next?”
Unfortunately, there is no straightforward answer to this question, as the meaning of life is subjective and personal. Each individual must carve out their own meaning. Just as a Kardashian thrives on social media, humans need purpose to thrive.
A significant challenge many face today is a crisis of purpose, exacerbated by the overwhelming scale of modern communities. Our ancestors evolved in small groups of about 150 people, where one’s role and contributions were clear. But in a vast world of millions, it’s easy to feel insignificant, leading to unhealthy comparisons with monumental achievements.
When you measure your sense of purpose against grand aspirations like curing diseases or exploring outer space, it’s easy to feel lost in the purpose trap. To escape this, it’s essential to simplify your understanding of purpose and stop overthinking it.
Cultivate Gratitude
Abraham Maslow, an influential psychologist, introduced the concept of a hierarchy of needs, which outlines five levels:
- Physiological (basic needs like food and shelter)
- Safety
- Social Needs (Love and Belonging)
- Self-Esteem
- Self-Actualization
People who struggle to meet their basic needs aren’t grappling with existential dilemmas about purpose. If you find yourself contemplating questions like, “Is this it?” it means you are operating at a higher level on Maslow’s pyramid.
Recognize that most humans have not had the luxury of pondering purpose; for them, survival was the primary focus. In modern times, while the challenges of survival have diminished, this has allowed us to focus on personal growth and purpose.
Instead of feeling adrift, practice gratitude for the privilege of having the mental space to reflect on your purpose.
Reframe Your Perspective: The Bricklayer Analogy
Consider the story of the Three Bricklayers:
Three bricklayers were asked about their work. The first replied, “I’m laying bricks.” The second said, “I’m building a church.” The third enthusiastically stated, “I’m building the House of God.”
Your contributions to society are significant, even if they feel mundane. By changing your perspective, you can see that your role is valuable. Even if you work for a large organization, your efforts contribute to a larger mission that matters.
The world relies on human effort. Imagine if all the essential workers decided to take a day off; chaos would ensue. Remember, your work holds significance, even if it seems small.
Your Purpose is Fluid
As you journey through life, your sense of purpose will naturally evolve. This dynamic nature of purpose means you’re not bound to a single, unchanging path.
The notion that you must make a monumental choice can lead to overthinking. Instead, recognize that purpose can come in phases. If you’re feeling uncertain, it may indicate that a new phase of purpose is emerging.
David Deida, in “The Way of the Superior Man,” encourages individuals to reflect by minimizing distractions. Take long walks, unplug from social media, and allow yourself to sit with your thoughts. This period of contemplation can help reveal the threads of curiosity that point to your evolving purpose.
Start Small and Don’t Aim to Change the World
Rumi wisely noted, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
The pressure to have a grand purpose can lead to paralyzing doubt. Instead, begin by addressing your immediate challenges.
Focus on your personal development, whether it’s improving your health, creating online content, or nurturing meaningful relationships. Starting with small, manageable goals can lead to significant growth over time.
As you solve your problems, you may find opportunities to help others with similar challenges. This iterative process of personal growth can ultimately lead to a purpose that resonates deeply with you, even if it wasn’t clear from the outset.
Embrace the idea that your purpose can begin small and evolve into something impactful. By viewing your life through the lens of purpose, you can navigate your journey with intention and gratitude.
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